Happy Birthday Niall!

So here I am, sitting in the silence of my house and my thoughts on Niall's first birthday.  He just went down for a nap and it's all really starting to hit me.  A whole year has gone by since I first held him in my arms.

I would try to stop at certain points throughout the day and say "Oh, this is when he first looked at me" and "This is when I changed his first diaper," etc.  But the truth is that it was all a complete blur.  I was so doped up on anesthesia from the c-section, I barely remember him being handed to me.  And then we were in such a whirlwind of excitement, the other details all sort of blended together.

I don't know if it would have mattered if I weren't on drugs anyway, though.  I think everything has been such a blink of an eye, regardless of any circumstances.  And now I'm realizing that it's been that way throughout this entire year- and probably will be for the rest of his life.  It's all a blur of excitement, happiness, frustration, challenges and learning.  Thank God I started this blog to be able to look back on all of it.

I can flip through "first year" calendars, blog posts, pictures and videos to find the important milestones I want to tell him about one day (or remember for my own sake).  But the truly precious moments happen in the spur of the moment, when you don't have a camera or simply can't be described in words.  These are the ones I'll have to hold in my heart and hope I can always remember.

Matt and I have learned so much about ourselves and grown in so many ways in the last year, and we have to thank Niall for all of it.  I know it will only get better and better.  Here is a look back on Niall's first year...





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