The Silver Lining
You know the old saying, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's pretty much the reason I've stayed off this blog for the entire month of April. I know that kids go through phases, but it kind of feels like these 2 have purposely joined forces at the exact same time and decided to see just what will it take to make their mother lock herself in the closet and never come out again.
For this post, I had originally typed up a long, bitter rant about all of the things that have gone wrong and/or driven me up the wall over the last month or so. At some point in there, I even gave a thorough description of what hell must be like (and I'm pretty confident that it may have been somewhat accurate)... but even so, I decided for the first time in my 4 1/2 year blogging history, that I needed to sit on it. I kept telling myself "Just wait until tomorrow and see if you still want to publish this." And so I did... for 3 days.
In that short time period, I experienced a very poignant, very humbling realization that life is just too short to focus on the stuff that doesn't matter. Will it continue to drive me insane that my 4 1/2 year old won't stop pooping in his pants? Of course. Will it become easier for me not to turn into the incredible Hulk every time my 2 year old hits me in the face? Not a chance.
But when I look back over the course of this entire month-- what really matters, what will go down in the history books (or at least my history book) is not how many pairs of ninja turtle underwear I cleaned up/ threw away, not how many hours Brendan spent in time out (and believe me, it may very well have taken up the better part of half the entire month).
It's brothers walking along the beach together, hand in hand
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It's a trip to the ice cream shop for no good reason
It's conquering your fears
It's the magical look on a kid's face when he knows he is sitting on top of the world
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It's gasping with excitement, even when he has already shown you 37 other shells just like this one
It's that feeling of being in complete control
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It's accepting that sometimes things will be completely out of control
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It's that sense of accomplishment that can only come from finding the world's biggest sand crab
It's allowing yourself to do something fun even though you know it's gonna get messy
It's taking a joy ride every now and again
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It's the realization that, as much as you want to, you just can't stay mad at this kid
And it's knowing with 100% certainty that no matter how many times you want to throw yourself out the window, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
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For this post, I had originally typed up a long, bitter rant about all of the things that have gone wrong and/or driven me up the wall over the last month or so. At some point in there, I even gave a thorough description of what hell must be like (and I'm pretty confident that it may have been somewhat accurate)... but even so, I decided for the first time in my 4 1/2 year blogging history, that I needed to sit on it. I kept telling myself "Just wait until tomorrow and see if you still want to publish this." And so I did... for 3 days.
In that short time period, I experienced a very poignant, very humbling realization that life is just too short to focus on the stuff that doesn't matter. Will it continue to drive me insane that my 4 1/2 year old won't stop pooping in his pants? Of course. Will it become easier for me not to turn into the incredible Hulk every time my 2 year old hits me in the face? Not a chance.
But when I look back over the course of this entire month-- what really matters, what will go down in the history books (or at least my history book) is not how many pairs of ninja turtle underwear I cleaned up/ threw away, not how many hours Brendan spent in time out (and believe me, it may very well have taken up the better part of half the entire month).
It's brothers walking along the beach together, hand in hand
It's a trip to the ice cream shop for no good reason
It's conquering your fears
It's the magical look on a kid's face when he knows he is sitting on top of the world
It's gasping with excitement, even when he has already shown you 37 other shells just like this one
It's that feeling of being in complete control
It's accepting that sometimes things will be completely out of control
It's that sense of accomplishment that can only come from finding the world's biggest sand crab
It's allowing yourself to do something fun even though you know it's gonna get messy
It's taking a joy ride every now and again
It's the realization that, as much as you want to, you just can't stay mad at this kid
Oh, our kids are almost the same ages, and I feel the same way! I feel I've been at this for almost 5 years and it has never felt as hard as it does right now! I hidden sobbing under the covers from my 3 screaming kiddos. Not a good feeling! Hope it settles down soon... I think my boys have a few months on yours... and these past weeks have involved less tears all around... wishing you the same luck :)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I just told my friend who was really nervous about how it was going to be when she had her 2nd baby a couple weeks ago, that I would take that phase any day over what we're going through now! Who would have thought that a 2 year old and 4 1/2 yr old would be more difficult than that beginning phase of a newborn with a big sibling?!
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